Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Making Money Secrets







I have a 15 year old cousin with autism, whose parents are trying to plan for the future when they're not around to take care of him anymore. My uncle is in his mid 60's, and my aunt is somewhere in her 40's. I'm 24. My cousin will be classified as a disabled adult upon turning 18, and will probably have to be institutionalized at some point.



I received a call from my semi-estranged uncle asking if I'd be willing to administer the cousin's inheritance. I haven't seen these relatives for a few years. Semi-estranged due to family drama (which I'm not directly involved in) over the uncle's treatment of his other child. This mess also means that my uncle's other child is probably out of the running to look after my cousin with autism. I'm willing to consider acting as trustee, but I need a lot more information.



So .... if you have any experience with this sort of thing, I'd love to hear from you. I'm wondering about:



1) What kind of support does the US give to disabled adults? If it matters, cousin lives in TX. I'm still in graduate school, with no idea where I'll settle. Will my cousin be provided with somewhere safe to live, or is he out on the street as soon as my uncle's money runs out? Or does it make sense for the money to run out sooner, so government help kicks in (as seems to be the case for some instances of elder care)?



2) Is there any way for me to wind up on the hook for my cousin's care? I have no intention of agreeing to this if I will wind up legally responsible for supporting my cousin out of my own earnings. I also have no intention of ever being a physical caretaker.



3) My uncle pitched this as my only job being to control the investments and cut checks when necessary. What other duties am I likely to wind up with? What types of decisions will I have to be making, and what degree of involvement with my cousin's day-to-day life will be required?



4) Do professionals exist who do this for a fee, or does it always just fall onto family?



5) What about the other cousin? What are the legal ramifications of leaving an unequal inheritance?



6) What other questions do I need to be asking my uncle? I will have no problem asking awkward questions, or saying no to this request.



Before I sign onto anything, I'll definitely be consulting a lawyer, but that's a way into the future. I have on the order of a year to make this decision.



Anonymous because these really aren't my secrets to spill all over the internet, and it's easy to figure out my identity from my posting history.



I will be following this thread, and can answer questions through one of the admins. If you want to contact me directly, I can be reached at autistic_cousin@hotmail.com.





I have a 15 year old cousin with autism, whose parents are trying to plan for the future when they're not around to take care of him anymore. My uncle is in his mid 60's, and my aunt is somewhere in her 40's. I'm 24. My cousin will be classified as a disabled adult upon turning 18, and will probably have to be institutionalized at some point.



I received a call from my semi-estranged uncle asking if I'd be willing to administer the cousin's inheritance. I haven't seen these relatives for a few years. Semi-estranged due to family drama (which I'm not directly involved in) over the uncle's treatment of his other child. This mess also means that my uncle's other child is probably out of the running to look after my cousin with autism. I'm willing to consider acting as trustee, but I need a lot more information.



So .... if you have any experience with this sort of thing, I'd love to hear from you. I'm wondering about:



1) What kind of support does the US give to disabled adults? If it matters, cousin lives in TX. I'm still in graduate school, with no idea where I'll settle. Will my cousin be provided with somewhere safe to live, or is he out on the street as soon as my uncle's money runs out? Or does it make sense for the money to run out sooner, so government help kicks in (as seems to be the case for some instances of elder care)?



2) Is there any way for me to wind up on the hook for my cousin's care? I have no intention of agreeing to this if I will wind up legally responsible for supporting my cousin out of my own earnings. I also have no intention of ever being a physical caretaker.



3) My uncle pitched this as my only job being to control the investments and cut checks when necessary. What other duties am I likely to wind up with? What types of decisions will I have to be making, and what degree of involvement with my cousin's day-to-day life will be required?



4) Do professionals exist who do this for a fee, or does it always just fall onto family?



5) What about the other cousin? What are the legal ramifications of leaving an unequal inheritance?



6) What other questions do I need to be asking my uncle? I will have no problem asking awkward questions, or saying no to this request.



Before I sign onto anything, I'll definitely be consulting a lawyer, but that's a way into the future. I have on the order of a year to make this decision.



Anonymous because these really aren't my secrets to spill all over the internet, and it's easy to figure out my identity from my posting history.



I will be following this thread, and can answer questions through one of the admins. If you want to contact me directly, I can be reached at autistic_cousin@hotmail.com.

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